It's been LESS than a year! This may never happen again. Funny thing is, I was surprised I had posted an entry in January this year. I thought the date was a mistake at first until I saw the Scriptures I had claimed for the year. This will be an uncharacteristically short post because I just want to record my "take-aways" from my quiet time this morning.
From Ezra 6, God showed me he can change the attitude of a king so that God's work can be accomplished. I believe he still can. Not only a king's attitude,though. I believe he can change anyone. I'm praying that he will change Holly and save her from her self-destruction. Praying that God continues to pursue her fervently.
From I Corinthians 3 he reminded me that my "good deeds" can be done with the wrong motives. I want my life to be made of silver and gold, not wood, hay, or stubble. I want to carry on His work with unselfish motives, motives that are to draw people to eternal life, not to increase my glory or rewards.
From Psalm 29 He showed me that He is always on His throne, even in a crisis, giving strength and peace to His people. I am praying this for the Riggins family and the Loska family as they deal with incredible health challenges with Gunny and Robbie. Lord, remind them that you are on Your throne all the time.
From Proverbs 20, God tells me that he can shed light in the innermost parts of a person. I'm not sure what to do with that information today, but I'm going to meditate on it and see what God wants to teach me.
I start back to work tomorrow. A significant school year because my baby is starting her senior year. Lord, help me make this a meaningful year for her. Help her to seek you first and to have a hunger for your Word. Help me to model that for her. Keep her mind fixed on you as she makes decisions about her future. And Lord we are needy people, always in need of a miracle, and it will be a miracle to see you provide for her college education. Lord, make a way. Give us direction and confirmation about what she needs to do. Thank you for doing what only you can do.
Keep growing me, Lord. Thank you for answering my prayer to become more disciplined. I have SO FAR to go, but I see growth. Work on me and make me into the woman you meant for me to be.
Help me be a teacher that makes a difference. I am easily distracted and scattered, so I need your focus to do all parts of my job well. Help me to make a decision about a helper for student council. I need to do that quickly. Help me finish my planning for my classes and get my classroom together. Did I mention I was a little needy. I totally admit I cannot do this life without you. Help me not live as if I can.
You know my financial needs, Lord. It's 2 weeks from payday, and I'm essentially broke, due to my own bad decisions. I need your help, Lord. Staci leaves for Dallas in 2 days. I need to help her with school supplies, books, and school clothes. I owe money to Shiloh. I owe money to all my kids. You have been so faithful to meet our needs. I believe you will do it again, so give me faith and patience as I wait. I need to pay the electric bill tomorrow, and I really don't want to have to use Kyle's money to do it, Lord. It is my responsibility, not his. That discipline prayer needs to take effect in my financial life big time. I feel like I constantly am digging a ditch when it comes to money. I want victory in this area of my life. You are the one who gives victory, so I'm asking for it, Lord. Take away selfish motives, and give me eternal purpose for my money. I want to honor you with how I manage what you give to me, and I know I have not so many times in the past.
Well, this "uncharacteristically short" post has taken on a life of its own. Famous last words. What can I say? I'm a needy girl who serves a big God that can take care of me if I ask Him to. No surprise this is a long post when I said it wouldn't be, huh?
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Sunday, January 15, 2012
No suprise...it's been more than a year!
How interesting to read back over these posts! (Didn't take long since there were really only two = /...that was the crooked face symbol). What does it say about me that nothing has changed much? That I'm consistently inconsistent? My little list of "issues" from the previous post is the same list of "issues" I'm convicted about for 2012. Thank God for mercy and grace! Where would I be without them?
Update: Kyle just returned from his 2nd trip to Argentina. God has blessed him so much with a wonderful girlfriend, a godly mentor, and a new passion to grow more in his spiritual life. When he left for Argentina, he didn't have a clear vision of what God wanted him to do after graduation, but now he at least knows he's going back to Pine Cove to be a senior counselor. He went to Argentina knowing that he would hear back from his interview with the Memphis Teacher Residency program, but he had started having 2nd thoughts about spending 4 years in Memphis. He shared those anxious thoughts with Bunga, and Bunga told him that when MTR called and declined him for the program, that he would have his senior counselor job open for him at Pine Cove. He kept a job open for Kyle because he felt so strongly that God wants him there. No one knew anything officially when Bunga spoke those words. Bunga's "prophecy" has helped give Kyle peace about his future, and Kyle was also told that there is a good chance that a full-time position could open up for him after the summer season. What a blessing! Kyle has never seemed so joyful as he is when he is working at PC. Thank you, Lord, for that ministry and the role it has played in helping Kyle become a man of God.
In the meantime, Kyle is needing a job in Conway to finish out the semester. He is praying that something at Christian Book Outlet or Dick's Sporting Goods works out. My prayer is that he is placed where he can do the most good for the kingdom. He is preparing for a 3-week fast. He is fasting from soda and drinking only water, and he is going to exercise more, so I guess he's fasting from laziness??? I know that would be ambitious for me!
Switching gears: I have one of the most unusual 17-year-olds in the country. We are extremely different. God has a perfect design in that. How many teenagers and their best friends would finally get to their junior year in high school when they have off-campus lunch privileges and buy groceries to eat lunch at home each day? I know I wouldn't! I would want to be where the biggest crowd was eating lunch. Well, Staci and Bailey eat lunch at our house every day, instead of going out. Last week they split a $40 grocery bill to buy good lunch food. I'd say eating lunch for a week on $20 each is a pretty great deal....for me! I was really worried about how much lunch money for Staci was going to increase when this year rolled around. And here she is, frugally living her teenage life with her best friend. I'm so thankful God brought Bailey to her. Not just because she helps us save money, but because she is a great friend. She is one of the reasons Staci is more connected at church than ever before. These two girls are highly unusual...and I love that about them!
Holly is getting ready to start her first semester of college this week. She is currently managing an office for Backus Concrete in Johnson, and it seems to fit her very well since she is the only one in the office. 3 years of working with other women at the airport about did her in. It's hard to know what else is going on in her life. She doesn't come around much and doesn't volunteer much information. Most of what I know is from the cryptic posts she makes on Facebook. Not sure that's a great way to judge what's going on with her. I've been praying that God keeps chasing after her and that she will stop looking to fill the void in her life with empty pursuits. Today, Proverbs 3 talked about all the great things that come from seeking wisdom. That's what I want for her, but wisdom comes from God...so she needs Him in her life first. I am so encouraged by the fact that Jay Smith gave his life to Jesus a few weeks ago. I really believe God hasn't given up on her. What a testimony she will have when she finally surrenders and lets God have control. Do it, Lord! Let her life speak volumes to her lost friends when she gives herself completely to You. Make yourself known through the miracle You can do in her life!
And now, me. So, I'm 3 1/2 years past the divorce and 4 1/2 years past being "released" from my marriage, if you know what I mean. I haven't been on a single date. I've only been asked on one, and now I'm ignoring calls and texts from the guy that asked. Am I crazy? No. I just freaked out when he asked for my number, and I gave it to him...wasn't attracted in the least bit (he had smoker's breath....ewww!). And now I don't know how to tell him, "No, thanks." I've subscribed to match.com and have a profile on Christianmingle.com, and I'm not impressed yet. The only guy I really considered a possible date quit emailing after a few exchanges. Not heartbroken or even mildly ticked...the whole thing still feels a little creepy to me. I still have romantic ideas about meeting someone in a serendipitous way and having a quirky little story about how our relationship developed. I'm such a sap!
I did meet someone that I'm slightly interested in. I know he's never been married, but what I don't know is if he's in a relationship or if he's even slightly interested in me. We are communicating about a professional situation, so it's possible I will see him at the end of next month. No hurry = / I'm not getting any older or anything. I often think, "Why would a guy be interested in someone with as many hang-ups as I have?" I expect a lot out of the guy I will go out with, but I'm not very willing to live up to those same standards in my life. I know that if I'm going to be truly ready for the challenges of a relationship, I better be prayed up and walking closely with the Lord, or I'm likely to make the same mistakes I did 25 years ago. I want the Lord to really mold me into a woman that is ready to be the kind of wife that I need to be. I have a lot of selfishness in me that needs to be cleansed. My small group has been studying the book Love and Respect. Wow...eye opener! I wish so badly I had this info long ago, but I'm at least learning what I can do if there is ever a "next time."
To close this out, I will share the thought I had as 2012 began a few days ago. The verses God has planted in my heart are Matthew 6:33 and Deuteronomy 6:5. Seeking the kingdom of God and his righteousness FIRST and loving God with all my heart, soul, and might are what I want from this year. I want to go on a foreign mission trip with Staci, lead someone to the Lord (Holly would be my first choice!), and become more disciplined in all areas of my life (food habits, exercise, daily quiet time, school responsibilities, household upkeep, financial planning). Those are ambitious goals, but I believe that those two Scriptures being lived out in my life are really the key to it all. I am fully aware of my incapabilities, and I am trusting God to be strong in the myriad ways that I am weak.
Looking forward to a great 2012! Maybe I'll be on here again before the calendar becomes 2013.
Update: Kyle just returned from his 2nd trip to Argentina. God has blessed him so much with a wonderful girlfriend, a godly mentor, and a new passion to grow more in his spiritual life. When he left for Argentina, he didn't have a clear vision of what God wanted him to do after graduation, but now he at least knows he's going back to Pine Cove to be a senior counselor. He went to Argentina knowing that he would hear back from his interview with the Memphis Teacher Residency program, but he had started having 2nd thoughts about spending 4 years in Memphis. He shared those anxious thoughts with Bunga, and Bunga told him that when MTR called and declined him for the program, that he would have his senior counselor job open for him at Pine Cove. He kept a job open for Kyle because he felt so strongly that God wants him there. No one knew anything officially when Bunga spoke those words. Bunga's "prophecy" has helped give Kyle peace about his future, and Kyle was also told that there is a good chance that a full-time position could open up for him after the summer season. What a blessing! Kyle has never seemed so joyful as he is when he is working at PC. Thank you, Lord, for that ministry and the role it has played in helping Kyle become a man of God.
In the meantime, Kyle is needing a job in Conway to finish out the semester. He is praying that something at Christian Book Outlet or Dick's Sporting Goods works out. My prayer is that he is placed where he can do the most good for the kingdom. He is preparing for a 3-week fast. He is fasting from soda and drinking only water, and he is going to exercise more, so I guess he's fasting from laziness??? I know that would be ambitious for me!
Switching gears: I have one of the most unusual 17-year-olds in the country. We are extremely different. God has a perfect design in that. How many teenagers and their best friends would finally get to their junior year in high school when they have off-campus lunch privileges and buy groceries to eat lunch at home each day? I know I wouldn't! I would want to be where the biggest crowd was eating lunch. Well, Staci and Bailey eat lunch at our house every day, instead of going out. Last week they split a $40 grocery bill to buy good lunch food. I'd say eating lunch for a week on $20 each is a pretty great deal....for me! I was really worried about how much lunch money for Staci was going to increase when this year rolled around. And here she is, frugally living her teenage life with her best friend. I'm so thankful God brought Bailey to her. Not just because she helps us save money, but because she is a great friend. She is one of the reasons Staci is more connected at church than ever before. These two girls are highly unusual...and I love that about them!
Holly is getting ready to start her first semester of college this week. She is currently managing an office for Backus Concrete in Johnson, and it seems to fit her very well since she is the only one in the office. 3 years of working with other women at the airport about did her in. It's hard to know what else is going on in her life. She doesn't come around much and doesn't volunteer much information. Most of what I know is from the cryptic posts she makes on Facebook. Not sure that's a great way to judge what's going on with her. I've been praying that God keeps chasing after her and that she will stop looking to fill the void in her life with empty pursuits. Today, Proverbs 3 talked about all the great things that come from seeking wisdom. That's what I want for her, but wisdom comes from God...so she needs Him in her life first. I am so encouraged by the fact that Jay Smith gave his life to Jesus a few weeks ago. I really believe God hasn't given up on her. What a testimony she will have when she finally surrenders and lets God have control. Do it, Lord! Let her life speak volumes to her lost friends when she gives herself completely to You. Make yourself known through the miracle You can do in her life!
And now, me. So, I'm 3 1/2 years past the divorce and 4 1/2 years past being "released" from my marriage, if you know what I mean. I haven't been on a single date. I've only been asked on one, and now I'm ignoring calls and texts from the guy that asked. Am I crazy? No. I just freaked out when he asked for my number, and I gave it to him...wasn't attracted in the least bit (he had smoker's breath....ewww!). And now I don't know how to tell him, "No, thanks." I've subscribed to match.com and have a profile on Christianmingle.com, and I'm not impressed yet. The only guy I really considered a possible date quit emailing after a few exchanges. Not heartbroken or even mildly ticked...the whole thing still feels a little creepy to me. I still have romantic ideas about meeting someone in a serendipitous way and having a quirky little story about how our relationship developed. I'm such a sap!
I did meet someone that I'm slightly interested in. I know he's never been married, but what I don't know is if he's in a relationship or if he's even slightly interested in me. We are communicating about a professional situation, so it's possible I will see him at the end of next month. No hurry = / I'm not getting any older or anything. I often think, "Why would a guy be interested in someone with as many hang-ups as I have?" I expect a lot out of the guy I will go out with, but I'm not very willing to live up to those same standards in my life. I know that if I'm going to be truly ready for the challenges of a relationship, I better be prayed up and walking closely with the Lord, or I'm likely to make the same mistakes I did 25 years ago. I want the Lord to really mold me into a woman that is ready to be the kind of wife that I need to be. I have a lot of selfishness in me that needs to be cleansed. My small group has been studying the book Love and Respect. Wow...eye opener! I wish so badly I had this info long ago, but I'm at least learning what I can do if there is ever a "next time."
To close this out, I will share the thought I had as 2012 began a few days ago. The verses God has planted in my heart are Matthew 6:33 and Deuteronomy 6:5. Seeking the kingdom of God and his righteousness FIRST and loving God with all my heart, soul, and might are what I want from this year. I want to go on a foreign mission trip with Staci, lead someone to the Lord (Holly would be my first choice!), and become more disciplined in all areas of my life (food habits, exercise, daily quiet time, school responsibilities, household upkeep, financial planning). Those are ambitious goals, but I believe that those two Scriptures being lived out in my life are really the key to it all. I am fully aware of my incapabilities, and I am trusting God to be strong in the myriad ways that I am weak.
Looking forward to a great 2012! Maybe I'll be on here again before the calendar becomes 2013.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)